Check out this sign.
It's a set of rules put into effect by the Lakewood Ohio parks division of the municipal government for the day that local Lakewood residents celebrate America's independence.
It's located on the viral image site Imgur under the title "No Fun Here, Move Along." The comments are predictably negative.
The most ridiculous rules seem to be against alcohol and fireworks on a day when many Americans traditionally drink and shoot fireworks.
The most concerning seems to be the one about police searching bags and coolers, and, considering recent events, the special notice that "The entire park is under video surveillance."
Is crime that bad in the suburbs of Cleveland? Not unless we're talking about shoplifting and marijuana possession.
The site Travel and Leisure named it one of the top suburbs to visit in 2010. Bloomberg Businessweek said it was was one of the best places to "raise your kids" in the same year.
A 2011 Patch article about the suburb listed Lakewood's recycle rate at 79 percent, the highest in Ohio.
That same article, ironically enough, contained this gem:
Lakewood, Ohio: “The most-of-our-taxes-go-towards-fireworks town.”
Every Fourth of July, after I sop up the blood streaming from my ears, I think, “Nobody loves America more than Lakewood!” And you can tell by the number of car alarms going off after the over-the-top, shock-and-awe, explosion-fest we use to celebrate our country’s independence.
We've contacted the local Lakewood parks division to see what gives with the sign. We're awaiting a response.